Every Friday (I think?) two of my favorite local sports talk personalities have a segment on their program, in which listeners are allowed to call and email in to just B***H about things they hate. I'm stealing their idea.. as I've just spent the last 4+ hours.. on a Saturday.. the Saturday before Christmas.. Christmas shopping.. while being 8 months pregnant.. with a gimpy leg. Yes, I'd like a little cheese with my whine :)
1) DOWNTOWN
Whenever possible.. I think it's awesome to shop at locally owned stores. They are the small business owners that are part of our community, the money stays here, etc etc etc. So I ventured to this awesome Christmas store in the Old Market to find some great gifts. I did.. and I also found MANY a driver, who
a) didn't know where they where going so they drove 3 mph...
b) THOUGHT they knew where they were going, but unfortunately didn't fill anyone else in by using a FREAKING TURN SIGNAL..
c) was just flat out confused and turned the wrong way on a one-way street.. right as another car was coming at them.
2) CALLING ALL SHOPPERS
Do not.. I repeat.. DO NOT let your children have caffeine, sugar, or any medically prescribed upper before taking them to Target during Christmas season. They may be fine at home.. but combined with a few sparkly red and green displays.. toy aisles.. and throngs of other Yule-Hyper-Kiddos.. they become PSYCHOTIC. Unfortunately, Target was my nephew/cousin's kids shopping spot.. I had to visit the toy aisles.. and I almost drilled Barbie Fairy wands and/or action figure swords into my ear drums to stop the shrill ringing in my ears. No, I am not a parent yet.. I will need many a lesson how to handle a child--not a baby or a toddler, a CHILD--who SCREAMS..NONSTOP.. for this, that, that other thing.. EVERYTHING... maddening.
3) THEY FOLLOWED ME...
The Hyper-Brats-Kiddos must have heard on the loud speaker or something, 'she's going to Babies R Us next, folks!' Because sure enough... there they were.. except this time, they were two girls, easily 8 or 9... FREAKING GOING BERZERK inside the store. Climbing on the riding horse in the entryway, running and shreaking through the store like banshees, knocking clothes off racks, etc. WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?!? No clue... but they were seriously OUT OF FREAKING CONTROL.
4) THE MALL.. ON A SATURDAY.. BEFORE CHRISTMAS
I don't even think I need to write anything here.
THE MALL.. ON A SATURDAY.. BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
4 hours later.. I am sitting on my couch, watching Harry Potter, eating a cheese pizza. My treat to myself for surviving. And I just went back for 2 more pieces.. after reliving the experience here :) Did I mention for the first time, EVER, I had to sit down on a mall bench to catch my breath? YOWSA. But our Christmas shopping is DONE.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a I'M NEVER SHOPPING AGAIN.
Except maybe for cute baby stuff :)
Ah, the Saturday before Christmas special - I was with you woman (you know, expect I wasn't pregnant, just generally annoyed at screaming children). But it was worth it - keep an eye out in the mail for a belated baby shower/christmas gift for you and baby! :)
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