Oh, Mack...

"Momma.. don't go to work! Stay home and play with me!"

Sometimes Often, I feel the need to remind my dog that he is in fact, a DOG.

Nevermind that my recent nickname for him is Monkey, which Brian says confuses him.

I digress.. lately, Mack's adventures have been pretty comical, and at least one of them, NOT dog-like.

Mack V. The Treadmill

We 'borrowed' my parents treadmill and moved it to our house, in the hopes that I will use it to get back in shape at home post-delivery while Baby Paul is sleeping and such.  Right now, it's parked in our office/Mack's room right off the living room.  When we Brian and my Dad first moved the thing in, Mack sniffed the hell out of it and examined every inch of it.

"What's this?!? A new toy? Something to lie on? A new bed? Whatisitwhatisitwhatisit?!?"

That night, when I turned it on and used it for the first time at our place.. Mack FREAKED.

"Holycrapwhatisthat?!?! Get closer.. get closer..NO!! TOO CLOSE!!! Must watch it, can't take eyes off it... maybe from behind.. yeah, I'll sneak up on it from the hallway..yeah.. NOOO!! TOO CLOSE!!"

Hopefully, that paints a picture.  Though he appears to be terrified of it--the noise, the rhythm, whatever--he cannot take his eyes off it while I'm using it.  He just paces in front of it, or lowers down on his front legs to 'attack' mode, or comes into the office from the hallway and smells it as I'm running.

Funny at first, but when my routine hits running sprints, I'm gasping "OUT.... MACK...NOW" in between breaths.  No longer funny.

Ok, it is still kinda funny :)

Mack V. The Fence

One of the things we were SOOOO looking forward to when we moved, was that we were going to immediately build a fence.  Mack is a big boy, and he doesn't get nearly enough exercise.  We were JAZZED at the thought of just opening the door and letting him frolic with nature without one of us being dragged around behind him on a leash.

It timed out PERFECTLY that the first weekend the fence was up,

was also the weekend we hosted Brian's family for our nephew Jace's 5th birthday. 

Or so we thought... 

"Ohmygoshwho'sthat? Who'sthis?Theysmellnew, mustsmellmore, mustjumpandlick..whoareyou??OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh!!!!!"

Lots of people + large dog who turns PSYCHOTIC when new people are around

=

PISSED OFF MOMMA AND DADDY.

So we put Mack outside.

He didn't like that.

First, he tried to claw his way back inside and ripped apart our back screen door. Then, the second we let him back inside, he escaped out the front door as more people showed up and SPRINTED up the street, zigzagging through various new neighbors front yards and backyards, before getting into a "smelling confrontation" with the black lab across the street.

We didn't like that.  So we put him BACK outside.

Now, every time we try to let Mack out, even to do his business, he RUNS in fear with his ears down and tail between his legs, and hides under our dining room table.  We have to literally drag him by his collar to the back door, and even after we shut it, he stands on the deck and watches to make sure we stay there before he turns to head down the deck.

Negative reinforcement, anyone?

Mack V. Momma's Sense of Discipline

Despite all of this, I'm definitely the softy of Mack's parents.  Brian may be his Daddy that he cowers to if Brian even LOOKS at him wrong.. but he lays by me in the living room and follows me around.

Probably because he knows I'll always rub his belly and give him a treat when his Daddy's not looking.

This morning, after a really tough workout (this Momma's OUT-O-SHAPE!!) I basically collapsed on the floor just to breathe without movement for a few seconds.  Mack walked up (treadmill was turned off by this point.. once the evil-enemy-machine was asleep, Mack returned to normal), he plopped down next to me, and just laid there. 

For a few seconds.. just peace.

"It's OK, Momma.  I'll help.  Belly rub?"

He may be crazy, but he's our boy :)